


Sugar Fiends

by AsILayDying



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:56:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsILayDying/pseuds/AsILayDying
Summary: "Harry, they haven't taken care of the Rotfang incident! You can't join them until it's all cleared up!" "That's okay," Harry said. "I'm not joining the Ministry." "Oh good!" Luna looked immensely relieved. "I've been talking with Professor Trelawney and she quite agrees that you will come back and teach. But not until you're twenty-six." Luna/Harry.





	Sugar Fiends

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing and I’ve been saying it as long as I’ve been writing fanfiction. Some things never change.

Sugar Fiends  


Harry sighed irritably. The pile of notes practically buried the table in front of him; he still hadn’t mustered the strength to answer them. He would have to get started soon, Hermione had warned him that the longer he held it off, the worse it would be when he finally began. He reached for a large one nearby, with emerald green ink written neatly across the front. It was from Headmistress Mcgonagall. Breaking the seal, he hastily scanned its contents. She was inviting him back to attend the upcoming year. ‘No way.’ He still hadn’t gotten over working on the reconstruction project. Throwing it aside he reached for another one with a multi-colored heading. It was George, inviting him to the re-opening of his shop next week.  


Harry frowned. He supposed he had to go to that one. George had been in a dark place the last three months, thanks to Fred’s death. Ron had taken to working in the shop, bustling about to get things finished for George’s grand opening. Even Percy, anxious as he was to reaffirm his place in the family, had pitched in. And George had only pranked him twice…  


He dipped his quill in ink and scribbled a response on the back of the invite. With a tap of his wand, the letter sealed itself. He then set it aside. One down, about two hundred to go…he…  


A small buzzing sound startled him. He glanced up at the wall opposite. Harry wasn’t sure, but he thought that the bee painted onto the wall across from him might actually have started buzzing. He shook his head a little to clear it. Coffee, he needed coffee…he reached hopefully for his cup but it was drained to the dregs. Sighing, he summoned the pot off the stove and to the table. It was also empty. He set it on the table in frustration. The buzzing had gotten louder. Behind him the door burst open and a young witch entered, wearing bright yellow robes, her hair done up with daisies and her wand behind one ear. She was clutching a sketchpad tightly.  


“Morning,” she said brightly, swooping down to kiss his cheek. “You’re up early; did the blubber-bees wake you?”  


Harry blinked. Blubber Bee’s? “Are the blubber-bees the reason the walls are buzzing?”  


Luna nodded, beaming. “Oh, yes. I thought that if they could hear the bees on the paintings buzzing, they would feel more at home and come out, so I charmed the bees.” She pointed at the nearest wall, where a bee was buzzing happily to its neighbor in the wall besides. Casting the bees admiring looks, she shook her head, her earrings moving wildly. “They are determined to stay upstairs for now, so I thought I’d get some paint and repaint the bedroom the same way. These are so lifelike that it must work. “  


At one time Harry would have laughed at her. He was by now long used to Luna’s odd interests ‘In many ways,’ he thought appreciatively as she pulled yellow and black paint from a cabinet next to the sink, ‘she was the solace of life.’ Smiling at him, Luna put down the paint beside a pile of unopened letters and took up the coffee pot. She began to brew another pot as Harry, feeling lighter of heart, turned back to his letters.  


‘Another one from Gringotts’ he had almost paid them off entirely for the damage. He placed it aside; he wasn’t interested in writing to Griphook right now, and another letter from an admirer gushing about Harry’s defeat of Voldemort…  


From over by the stove, Luna was inspecting the sugar. “I think the sugar is a little low.” She looked pleased at the sight. “That means they must have been downstairs at some point, they use sugar to help make their hives.”  


‘…and a letter from the Ministry, he was tired of those…’ “What was that?” Harry asked absentmindedly, turning his attention to Luna.  


She showed him the half empty sugar bowl. “The blubber-bees have stolen the sugar.”  


Harry blinked. “Why would bees want sugar?”  


“Blubber-bees love it. They use it to decorate their hives,” she told him excitedly. “So if some of it’s gone, then they must have gotten downstairs at some point.” Finishing up the coffee, she placed a cup before him, and then snatched up her paint and sketchpad. “I’m off to lure them back out into the open!”  


Harry nodded. “Good luck!” He called after her. Smiling slightly, he turned his attention to the coffee and letters. It had seemed years ago that he had accepted Luna’s offer to stay at her home for the summer. He knew that Ron’s family had offered, that they had even wanted him to come, but he needed some time alone. It was good to be where there was relative quiet, without numerous people bustling in and out and fussing over him. Harry probably would have refused if Luna’s father was home, but he was off on another expedition and for once Luna hadn’t wanted to come.  


If Harry were being honest with himself, he had to admit that it was partly his fault. Mr. Lovegood hadn’t meant any harm to come to him, he had after all only been trying to save Luna, but he had still tried to sell him out to the Death Eater’s. It was a slightly hard matter to just get over and yet relations were mending. Xenophilius had agreed whole-heartedly with Luna’s decision to invite him over for the summer, likely to try and make amends some way, and yet he still didn’t seem keen to stick around too long. This was fine. It suited Harry best when it was quiet and with the exception of Luna and her occasional eccentricities it was very peaceful.  


Harry took a sip of his coffee. ‘It’s not half bad,’ he thought as he got back to the pile. Another Ministry letter…a letter from Hermione, she was in Australia with her parents (they apparently planned to stay there indefinitely) and a letter from Dudley!  


That was not expected. Harry had already heard from Hestia and she had given him an update about his relatives. They were staying in a heavily protected home until all of the remaining Death Eater’s who would want revenge on Harry were rounded up. Harry had not imagined that any of the Dursley’s would be interested in looking for him. He opened the letter cautiously, almost as though he expected it to be a gag of some sort.  


Written in pen was his cousin’s messy hand-writing that Harry vaguely remembered from school.  


Harry,  


I heard about the death of that Lord wizard that wanted to kill you. Diggle says that it should be okay to write to you now. We should be getting out of here soon, they say, and I thought we should see each other sometime. Bet I could kick your ass at Grand Theft Auto. Wizard school don’t teach you about that. Or we could catch a movie. See you maybe.  


Big D.  


Harry read the note through twice in amazement. Then, unable to suppress it, he began to laugh. Grabbing a spare bit of parchment, he hastily scribbled back:  


Big D.  


We will see if you can win. I never got a fair shot at games when we were kids. I might surprise you.  


Harry.  


He would send it out later. For now, he had to try to make his way through the large pile that was threatening to topple off the table and to the floor. It was already ten-thirty and he had been at it for three hours. Meanwhile the bees on the wall were buzzing louder than ever and he thought he could hear an answering hum from upstairs.  


It was probably hopeless. He was tired of answering the Ministry and being summoned for meetings, tired of people trying to meet him, tired of having to tell his story. He wanted to have a morning without his letters piling up on him like school work used to do on weekends. He could hear Hermione in his mind as he sat there, her face disapproving, telling him “you knew this would happen and yet still you held it all off until the last minute.”  


The buzzing grew louder. He glanced over at the wall. Was it possible to stun the painting? As though she had sensed his irritation, Luna then came downstairs, carrying several empty paint cans. She had yellow paint on her left cheek and her hair was half undone, spilling messily over her right shoulder. In spite of this Harry thought she looked rather nice. Yellow did seem to be Luna’s color.  
“

All done,” she told him brightly. “They are already starting to get friendlier. It’s good to see them all perked up and building their hives.”  


Harry nodded, deciding to just humor her. “They’re coming along nicely with all the sugar?”  


“Oh yes!”  


Harry smiled at her enthusiasm. It was oddly comforting to have her near and listen to her strange theories, he considered as she sat beside him and picked up a letter. This summer was doing something odd to him in general. He was getting used to hearing her voice throughout the day, to listening to her humming placidly as she fixed breakfast, to her colorful dresses and robes and bright homemade accessories. The paintings on the walls of different environments and creatures were a spot of warmth that he had gotten as used to as the friendly little stream by the house that they strolled along in the evenings, as Luna clutching his arm, told him about all the little sea creatures, ordinary and extraordinary that lived within its depths.  


“Oh no!” Harry’s thoughts were interrupted as Luna, looking worried, held up another of the Ministry letters. “It’s the Auror office!” She waved the letter wildly at Harry. “Harry, they haven’t taken care of the Rotfang incident! You can’t join them until it’s all cleared up!” She looked unusually grave and serious as she told him this.  


“That’s okay,” Harry said. “I’m not joining the Ministry.” It was the truth. He had no desire to get involved, much as he had once wanted to be an Auror. The Elder Wand flashed into his mind for a minute but he shook the thought off. “I’ve had enough trouble for a lifetime.”  


“Oh good!” Luna looked immensely relieved. “Besides you can’t become the Defense against the Dark Art’s teacher if you’re an Auror.”  


That was new to him. “I’m going to become the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher?”  


“Absolutely! Though not right away,” Luna offered him a serene smile. “First you’re going back to take your seventh year over and get your N.E.W.T.s, then we are traveling, you need to get out a bit, see the world. Then you are going to come back and ask for the position.”  


“What if someone else has it?”  


“Oh they won’t last long,” Luna told him pleasantly. “I’ve been talking with Professor Trelawney and she quite agrees that you will come back and teach. But not until you're twenty-six.”  


“Professor Trelawney says I’m going to come back and teach when I’m twenty-six?” Harry looked at her in disbelief. “She predicted my death every year.”  


“…and didn’t you die at Voldemort’s hand, Harry?” Luna asked him sternly.  


“Yes but I came back…”  


“Yes, but you still died.”  


Harry resisted banging his head on the table. She was not wrong; at least he didn’t think she was, and that made it all the more frustrating. “Yes…but…” He really wished Dumbledore had explained his little trip to King’s Cross Station better.  


“So it’s settled,” Luna said serenely. “Pass the coffee pot Harry.” They sat in companionable silence for several minutes while Harry tried to find another argument to use.  


“She said I was going to be Minister of magic and have twelve children!”  


“I’m sure she was just trying to make you feel better after Umbridge was so mean,” Luna said. “You are not going to work in the Ministry and we are only having three children.”  


Harry gaped at her. “Three children!”  


“Oh, yes. Preferably two girls and a boy.”  


“and what if we have all boys or girls?”  


“Then we keep trying until there is at least one of each.” Luna said matter of factly as she poured sugar in her coffee. She peered into the jar with a look of satisfaction. “They must have really enjoyed the sugar, we don’t use that much and it’s nearly all gone.”  


Harry tried to stay on topic. “Luna if we keep trying for one of each, we might end up with twelve children.”  


Luna looked mildly thoughtful. “Hmmm, I guess then she would be right. Still,” she added, smiling sweetly at him, “you are not going to be Minister of Magic. You’re going to be the DADA teacher…and then maybe headmaster. Maybe I’ll even teach there.”  


Harry didn’t even consider answering. It was best just to let it go. “I’ve still got to answer all these letters…” he thought it was going to be a long day.  


“Not the Ministry ones.” Luna looked very stern. She pulled her wand from behind her ear and gave it a wave. The letters began to organize themselves into different piles. After checking to see which pile was the ‘from the Ministry’ one, she gave a flick and the parchment caught fire and smoldered up at once. “There,” she said, tucking her wand back for safekeeping. “The letters are taken care of.”  


“Luna I don’t think they will accept not getting answers.” Kingsley was going to kill him. Hell, when Hermione came back and found out she was going to kill him!  


“They will just need to accept that your new security has prohibited most letters from getting in.” Luna took a sip of her coffee.  


“Er, my new security?”  


“The blubber-bees. They eat parchment, you know.”  


“They do?”  


“No,” Luna said. “That’s just what we are going to say if anyone asks.” She had all the air of someone explaining a universal truth to a skeptic. “After all the house is infested with them. See?” She pointed a pale finger at the doorway where Harry could see what looked like several large bumble-bees entering.  


“Luna those are huge!”  


“I expect they want more sugar,” she said cheerfully. “It’s good to see them out and about.” She turned to beam at Harry, but he was no longer sitting beside her.  


The boy who lived, who had destroyed the most powerful wizard of all time, survived twice being hit with a killing curse, and had become master of death, had bolted out the door at the sight of the bees and was running up the way and heading unknowingly head first into the little stream.  


Luna with a cry jumped up and ran after him. “Harry come back, there are Dapperblimps in there!”  


END


End file.
